Nicole Kidman is story of an e-mail that gets the reader interested to read on

Posted at July 31, 2007

I received this e-mail today from Ari Galper. Notice that he is in the sales business, notice that he is not selling, he is assisting and providing insights and most of all he tells a captivating story about going out to dinner. This is very simple, but it is an art form See if you don’t click on the link to get to his site like I did.

Last week, Michelle and I decided to go out for Sushi as a break to our normal routine of staying home for dinner during the week.

We went to a new restaurant we heard about in Kings Cross, a funky neighborhood in Sydney.

As we entered the restaurant and sat down at the sushi bar, I turned to my right and took a double take at the couple sitting directly next to me.

It was Nicole Kidman and her husband Keith Urban.

Having lived in Los Angeles for quite a few years, I’ve gotten used to star sightings since they are quite common if you live on the west side of LA.

But usually, when you do seem to meet them or at least be close enough to see them, they seem to not have any interest in connecting with people they may not know around them. And I’m sure, celebrities have their reasons for not connecting with people they don’t know, or at least know well.

There was something different about Nicole and Keith. They seemed very comfortable saying hello and connecting with others at least with a smile or warm eye contact.

There was a certain "normalness" or better said, humbleness about them that made them very approachable… a similar feeling to approaching someone you hadn’t seen for a while.

And that humbleness factor, as I call it, is something so missing in the world of selling.

You’re not going to read or hear too much in traditional selling books or seminars about being humble – because it doesn’t fit the macho-style of selling that we’re supposed to adopt to be successful in the sales world.

But for those who truly know how to build real relationships, macho is out and humbleness is in (and will always be in) for people who ultimately understand that they key to selling is creating genuine trust.

Here’s why being humble is one of the most important principles in selling that will set you apart from everyone else in your industry:

1. The more genuine and humble you are, the faster you create trust with potential clients.

The traditional sales gurus tell us we’re supposed to have all the answers to every question asked by our prospects, and if we show any signs of "weakness" by not having "perfect" answers, we won’t make the sale. In other words, if you aren’t as smooth as James Bond, you don’t have a chance at being successful in selling.

Rubbish, as they say here in Australia. Completely untrue. Your willingness and openness to let your prospect know that you don’t have all the answers, but will certainly find them for them, shows that you’re not afraid to be honest which conveys your genuineness.

And being genuine (and humble) is what will set you apart from everyone else who has tried to reach out to your potential client that day.

2. Pausing and slowing down in conversation, diffuses pressure from the sales process….and makes you more real.

How many times have you received a call from someone trying to sell you something and you end up doing all the listening… and they do all the talking. Usually the caller isn’t someone who conveys humbleness or being open minded.

In the Unlock the Game Mastery Program one of the opening phrases that I teach is "Hi, my name is [your name], and I’m hoping you can help me out for a moment? (Said slowly and with a pause at the end). And then you wait till they respond with "Sure, how can I help you?"… before you continue with your problem statement (one of the key trust-building components that we teach in the program).

Now that seems pretty easy to say when you read it off this page, but I can’t tell you how many of my clients, who just get started with my program struggle with the PAUSE. Their instinct is to keep talking.

They aren’t used to waiting patiently for a response. They are so used to "pitching" or filling in the silent moments with features and benefits (the old sales mindset kicking in), that they kill their chances of creating a natural two-way dialogue.

A two-way dialogue, at the opening of a phone call to a potential prospect, is key to letting the other person know that you really care about helping them, rather than just focusing on your sale. (Sales success comes from your ability to connect with your prospects in a genuine way.)

3. Toughness, thick-skinned and a willingness to accept rejection are old selling ideas that you don’t have to be subjected too… anymore.

If you’ve been selling for quite some time the old way, you’ve probably built up a tolerance for rejection. And you’ve probably even heard "You’ve got to be tough to make it in selling, because you’re going to get a lot of rejection before you can be successful."

Rubbish again. You see, rejection is triggered by the old "sales pitch" way of selling. And if that’s the only way you know how to sell, you’ll need to be thick-skinned to survive in sales.

But you know what, that thick-skinned and toughness that you’re forced to take on is "armor" that you have to put around yourself when you pick up the phone to call your potential client.

And that "armor" or role that you are taking on, becomes a mask that covers your true genuine self. And people pick that up from you a mile away. You may not realize it, but if we’re having a normal conversation, then I asked you to role play what you say when you call a prospect on the phone, I bet 9 times out of 10, you’ll sound a little less natural..because you’re psychologically getting ready for "battle" on the phone.

You need to remain your natural self at all times. That’s the real you. And if you find yourself in a selling situation where there is sales pressure and tension, it will be impossible for you to be your natural humble self…which is the key to truly connecting with your potential clients and making more sales.

There is a new way of selling. And if you can master this new mindset, you’ll be more successful than you ever thought possible.

Unlock the Game Mastery Program

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